Grammy's News

M is for Marriage 

John and I got engaged in the spring of 1965. We were both college students at Brigham Young University. We were in our 3rd year of college but still had 2 years until graduation. We only had part time jobs and barely enough savings for the next year's tuition. We were poor but we were so in love that didn't seem to matter.

This picture was taken right after we got engaged.

It was a custom in your dorm back then to announce your engagement by gathering everyone in a circle and passing  around a lit candle with the ring on it.

The room was filled with suspense as the candle was passed from person to person around the circle. Finally, the engaged girl, in this case me, blew out the candle and everyone cheered.  I was so excited to have my candle passing ceremony.... Can you tell from the look on John's face that he just came along for the ride to make me happy.

Lura and John  wedding day in July 1965

We got married in July of 1965… almost 49 years ago.  I was 20 and John was barely 23. 

Our wedding party

 All of the fairy tales I knew of ended with the princess getting married to her prince and then saying “..and they lived happily ever after”. I expected the “happy ever after”.

John and Lura today

  After all of these years I’ve learned enough about marriage to know that “happy ever after” doesn’t just happen…it takes lots of work and patience.  I was shocked when John and I had our first argument. I knew felt I was right…. and he was wrong…. and I was determined to prove it to him. We had quite a few arguments in our early years of marriage. Then we learned a wonderful fact that changed our lives and made our marriage so much happier.

 It is better to be loving than to prove you are right.

John and I love each other more now than we did when we were married.  We love each other more each year. We are thankful we both survived the terrible accident 3 years ago that should have killed us both. We value our time together enough to overlook the little things that aggravate us and focus on the things we love about each other.

I wish more people valued marriage today. It makes me sad how many young people think living together is as good as marriage. It is not. Knowing that you are both committed enough to the relationship to enter into the bonds of matrimony makes all the difference. When our marriage got rocky at times, John and I worked out our differences because we did not want to give up on our marriage vows. Even after all these years, we are still working on it.

We were married in the Los Angeles Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints (Mormon)temple for time and all eternity.... not until death do us part. (Click Here to learn more about our faith)

 We are an eternal family unit but we know that today is part of eternity. 

 

Traveling through life together for 49 years

As we travel along life's journey we may at times hurt each other's feelings or have a disagreement... but we work it out ASAP. 

We don't let it fester and go on for days like we sometimes did when we were young.

 We want to make it right with each other and with God.

We know our time together is too precious and fleeting to be filled with contention. 

You can not have the spirit of the Lord with you if you are contentious.

We remember that is it better to be loving than to prove a point.

That is one of our secrets to having a happy marriage. What is your advice? 

Hugs, Grammy