49th Anniversary Smiles

I have a lot to smile about today.

It was exactly 49 years ago that I married my sweetheart.

We were young  college students at BYU with 2 years to go until graduation…. but… we were so much in love that it didn’t seem to matter that we just had part time jobs and barely enough money to pay for tuition and books. Luckily John had the skill to lay floor tile and his part time job paid him much more than my $1.00 per hour job. We figured if we pinched pennies we could get by.

If we had looked at our financial situation rationally, I doubt if we would have had the courage to marry when we did….but… we were blinded by love and nothing mattered to us as much as being together as husband and wife.

So on July 9th, on a  sunny Friday morning, just like today…. we were married for time and all eternity in the Los Angeles temple  of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon).

It has been a long 49 year journey we have made together. There have been good and bad times, ups and downs, sad and happy times, challenges and comforts. Through it all we have learned what love really is… not just what those 2 young kids thought it was.

I woke up this morning to find our grandgirl, Claire busy at work

…. setting a beautiful table.  Grampy asked her to do it while he went out to buy breakfast for us.

I saw that he had a card for me  so I quickly added my card for him to the table.

Austin and Claire have been staying with us since last Sunday. It was special having them be a part of our anniversary breakfast.  John getting Claire to set the pretty table and him going out to buy us breakfast was a total surprise to me….certainly more than I expected… but there was still another surprise  coming.

The doorbell rang just as we were finishing breakfast…. John asked me to get the door… I was the only one not dressed…. I was still in my jammies and robe.. but since John wanted me to… I went to the door….

And when I opened it there was a floral delivery man with a beautiful bouquet of red roses.

Of course, Grampy and the kids knew who it was so they came running with camera in hand to capture the moment. Wasn’t that a sweet way for my John to start off our 49th anniversary!

We spent the rest of the day enjoying the grands…. then….

This evening we went to dinner with our friends, Paul and Michelle and then to a good movie…. Belle..

Since we just got home from our cruise we said that we would keep this anniversary low key and simple….. however… I think John went the extra mile to make it extra special.

I’m glad those 2 kids decided to get married 49 years ago today. Our life has turned out just as we hoped and dreamed it would. We finished our education and got good jobs…. we raised our 4 wonderful children and have 14 dear grandchildren. Life is good.

We love each other more than ever. I treasure the years we have had together…. and I hope there will be many more.

Hugs, Grammy Lura

3 rules to a happy marriage..My anniversary words of wisdom or whatever???

As you learned from my last post, Saturday was our 46th Anniversary.

Since posting about our # 46 several people have asked me what is the secret of having a long lasting happy marriage.

I’ve given it some thought.  I’ve not come up with anything original but these are my thoughts on the matter.

 

When we were married we were students at BYU.  We had 3 years of college under our belts…. we knew we had  to go 2 more years to finish up and get our degrees and teaching certificate.  We had little savings.  I was almost 21.  John had returned home from serving at as missionary in Central America and had just turned 23.

We were young and trim and so much in love that we thought marriage would be a piece of cake. We couldn’t imagine ever finding fault with one another.

Like in the fairytale, we planned to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

Then reality set in. Life turned out to be a lot harder than we thought it would be. We found out that even cake can get old and taste stale. Some days we were blissfully in love and happy…. and on some days we were barely “in like” and felt upset  and angry with each other.

The ebb and flow of happy/unhappy marriage when on for several years.

We went to church, prayed and read the scriptures regularly…. but I didn’t find out what real love is until I discovered 3 simple rules.  I am sure that you know them…. but until I embraced them, we were not truly happy like we are now.

1. I Pray daily that God will help me see good things to love about my husband and help me be a loving and supportive wife.

For years I prayed that God would change this or that about John. I finally figured out that me trying to change John wasn’t working, but I could change me and my outlook. That made all the difference.  When I quit nagging, pouting and complaining and started working on my own attitude and behavior, John became more and more loving and responsive to my desires. Look for things that you appreciated about your spouse and tell him/her.  As my acceptance and appreciation of John grew, so did our love for each other.

#2.  It really is true that life is going to hand you some lemons…. When it does you can pucker up and hate the bitter taste…. or make lemonade.

We’ve all heard this a 1000 times…. but it really is true.

As I look back on every hard/bitter experience I’ve ever had, I can see there has been a benefit and growth that’s come from it that I couldn’t see at the time.  Just trust God and turn to him in the midst of your sour days and He will give you the sugar to sweeten up your life better than it ever was before. It may take some time to realize it … but it will happen.

God has a plan for us… and a purpose for every challenge we face. He hears our prayers even when we think we are not getting the answers we want and deserve. I love the scripture that says,”Be still and know that I am God”

Sometimes, we just have to be still and trust that God knows what He is doing… and all will turn out to be for our good.

#3. It is more important to be kind and make your mate happy than to be at war proving you are right. 

No two people are going to see eye to eye on everything. In previous years, when John and I argued, and I knew he was wrong…I knew I was right we disagreed. I didn’t want to give an inch and could not let it rest until I hammered the point in to prove I was right. There was little victory in being right because that left both of us hurting and mad at each other.

(Note: No husbands were actually hit with a hammer during the making of this post.)

I finally learned that you can not be contentious and have the spirit of the Lord in your home.  Without the spirit of the Lord, you can not be really happy. Most disagreements aren’t worth a hill of beans in the long run. Keeping the spirit of love and harmony in your home and in your relationship with your spouse is far more important than proving you are right. … and … after you cool down and reevaluate, you often find that you weren’t so right after all.  Saying “I’m sorry” may not always be easy but it is nearly always worth the effort.

Those are my 3 simple rules to a happy marriage….Stay close to the Lord and your spouse and make lemonade. It has worked for us. We have never loved each other more… and we are still working on it.

My surgery is Monday morning. John and I are both nervous…. not because we are worried about the outcome as much as  we just hate that I have to go through another painful procedure. We both appreciate the prayers and concern you have shown us.   Thank you.

Hugs, Lura

Our 46th Anniversary

On that sunny Friday morning, 46 years ago,  when we were asked to vow, in a temple of our God,  that we would love and cling unto each other as man and wife for time and all eternity…. we looked at each other, across the alter into our star struck eyes and answered yes with what we thought was all of the love in the world.

We did not dream that we knew little of what love really was back then, when we said those vows. We learned that true love grows through time… through ups and downs…through thick and thin (or thin and thick in our case.)

I hadn’t made any plans for this anniversary…. #46… didn’t seem as important as 45 was  or 50 will be.   But after our terrible accident that almost took my life and I thought had taken John’s, I realized that every year together should not be taken for granted…. each is a real celebration.

So, even though I was not up to doing much, with the help of John and our friends, we had a lovely day of celebration.

It started out when John took me to breakfast… and barely fussed  agreed when I asked the waitress to take our picture

That evening we went out to our favorite Chinese restaurant for dinner with Mindy and Ernie and a nice group of our friends.

Then we returned to our home where the party continued. LouAnn brought us a lovely cake. Kris supplied the ice cream.

John and I surely appreciated our friends and family making this such a nice evening for us.

They had fun looking at our old wedding pictures… and noted that John and I have barely changed a bit….lol

And I got to enjoy the company and the fun right from the comforts of my…

 

…hospital bed. I am glad that John had my bed put in the family room… I didn’t like that idea at first but it turned out to be a great idea.

 

 

 

So here we are 46 years later…. It turns out that we are happier and much richer than we ever thought we would be…. maybe not as rich in money as we had dreamed… but richer in all the things that really matter…. having love, each other, a great family and wonderful friends is worth more to us than all the money in the world.  Yes we are truly blessed and very grateful.

It was a simple, but lovely day…. the very best way to celebrate our 46 years of marriage.  My heart is full of gratitude and joy.

Hugs, Lura