Remembering Lyle with a smile

Lyle, our 3rd child and 1st son was born 42 years ago today.

Unfortunately he died during labor. His only cradle was a coffin.

His little room was empty. My arms and heart were empty.  His absence left a hole in my soul.

I almost died that night too. My labor was going well until the placenta tore away from the uterus cutting off Lyle’s oxygen supply and making me hemorrhage. I was bleeding so badly that they couldn’t take him by C-section for several hours.  After his birth they worked hard to piece me back together, stop the bleeding and save me. 

They took Lyle away while I was in surgery. They said it would be too upsetting for me to see him…. to hold him… to tell him goodbye. They were wrong but that is how they did it in 1971.  To this day I feel sad that I never got to hold my precious baby boy.

My heart was broken. Then one night I woke up with this poem in my heart. I got up and wrote it down. Afterwards I felt at peace.

Only Son (I’ve now renamed it First Son)

Your baby’s dead. How cruel the words! How shocking to my soul.

It can not be! It must not be! God would not take my son from me.

But it was true. My babe was gone….taken from my arms and breast.

I wept. I cried in agony. My torment knew no rest.

How could it be? How could it be that God took him in his infancy?

Before he walked or talked or cooed with joy, God took away my baby boy.

Then in His loving tenderness, God touched my heart that I might know,

I’ll have my son. I’ll hold his hand.

I’ll watch him grow into a man.

Though I wait to sing him songs of love,

I’ll sing them in our home above.

For now I’ll prove my faith and worth

and thank God he let me give him birth.

I miss my Lyle. I’ve missed him all these years. As I’ve watched my other children grow and develop into wonderful adults with fine families I realize more than ever how much I have missed by not having Lyle…. but I am smiling because I know he is still a part of our family. I know that life is eternal. As I stated in my poem, I know I will have my son again one day.

One of the main beliefs of the Mormon religion is that through the power of the priesthood families can be sealed together in our Holy Temples for time and all eternity. Families can be together forever.  To learn more about this doctrine please go to

Mormon.org

So today, on Lyle’s birthday I can think of him with love and smiles. I know that our son is in a wonderful place. He is with our Heavenly Father and our Lord and Savior. I bet his grandparents are taking good care of him.  I am happy that he did not have to suffer any of the pains or sorrows of this world. I am smiling because I know if I live a faithful, good life, I will have my son again.

Happy Birthday Son

Have a good week dear blog friends.

Hugs, Grammy Lura